Entity

The security cameras were cute in this episode. I thought it was funny that they liked Jack. Of course, the cameras were really controlled by an electronic entity that was attempting to destroy Earth in retribution. Details, huh?  

I was creeped out by Sam when was possessed, because she didn’t blink at all. Even alien entities should know that is important to hydrate their eyes. I wonder how Amanda Tapping did that. When I consciously try not to blink, I automatically start twitching and need to close my eyes for a few seconds.

I was shocked when Jack fired the second zatgun blast. Jack, no! You love her! I didn’t understand how Sam gained the ability to shoot lightning bolts from her hands, though.

My favorite part of the episode was when the computer zapped Walter. Take that chevron guy! The funny thing was Sam also got a little shock to her hand. General Hammond, who completely disregarded Walter while he was passed out on the ground, immediately asked, “Are you okay, Major?”

My Rating: 5/10

2010

This might be the prettiest episode produced by SG-1. There was a grand plot, an interesting new race, and some great team moments. So why did I find it unsatisfying? Well, it fell into the alternate reality trap. Everything in this episode, essentially, never happened, which ultimately devalued the drama. There was some fun speculation, but it had little influence on the series as a whole.

I love to compare the superficial differences in alternate reality episodes. First off, Dr. Fraiser’s hair looked fantastic! She always struck me as the motherly type, but she looked down right foxy with that cut. I liked Sam’s gelled up hair, too. Daniel had a new pair of glasses, which are actually in style now. It took me a couple of moments to realize it, but Teal’c had his tattoo removed.

I thought the triangle between Ambassador Joe, Sam, and Jack was intriguing. It was pretty clear that Jack felt letdown by Sam, and Joe didn’t trust Jack. Since Sam sucks at dating, she must have picked Joe over Jack at some point. It was strangely typical of her to fall for a guy who was complicit in genocide.

There was one other thing that caught my attention. This was the first time I watched this episode since Don S. Davis passed away. It was sad to hear the toast to General Hammond knowing that he really is gone.

Oh, and Kinsey as the President was not a pleasant thought.

My Rating: 7/10

The Curse

Poor Teal’c. He was roped into fishing an empty lake with Jack. The whole team was given personal time after the death of Daniel’s former professor, Dr. Jordan. Sam spent her time working on a motorcycle with Sergeant Siler.

At the funeral, Daniel met up with some of his former colleagues. Sarah, his ex-lady friend, and Steven, who had always been jealous of Daniel, were surprised to see him after a five year absence from the academic circle. They had been studying some rare artifacts with Dr. Jordan before an explosion killed the scholar. When Daniel saw the pieces, he knew something was wrong.

Two of the artifacts were vessels for Goa’uld symbiotes. The snakes had been held in stasis for thousands of years. One of the Goa’ulds, Isis, died after the seal broke. The container holding Osiris was missing along with a golden amulet.

Daniel, Sam, and Dr. Fraiser traveled to Egypt suspecting the Goa’uld had taken Steven. He was already unconscious when they arrived at an isolated ruin. Osiris was actually inside Sarah. After beating up the team and zapping Daniel’s brain, she escaped in a buried ship.

Dating Daniel definitely has drawbacks. Let’s go down the list of his known lovers up to this point. Sha’uri – taken as a host. Sarah – taken as a host. Hathor – Goa’uld queen. Shyla – pretended to be a Goa’uld. Ke’ra – the destroyer of worlds. The best of the bunch might have been the cavewoman he hooked up with during “The Broca Divide.”

After all that, he’s still better at dating than Sam. She turned down another cabin offer in this episode. Grr…

My Rating: 9/10

Beneath the Surface

“I remember something. There's a man. He's bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he's very important to me. I think his name is Homer.”

I thought this one was a little creepy. Did anyone see how the Administrator used a handkerchief whenever he exchanged a document with Brenna? That’s one of those small details that I just love. It totally made the character.

Of course, my favorite part of the episode was the snuggly time between Sam and Jack. Hey, they were even dirty and disheveled.

I didn’t realize it until I checked Gateworld, but one of the posters there pointed out that Teal’c shaved his blonde goatee. Good eye, Captain Jake. Hopefully, that will be a memory that doesn’t return when he’s back on Earth.

Wow, the black lady Daniel was hanging out with was annoying. If I had to choose between working in an underground steam factory as a slave laborer and living freely in a utopian city with her, I’d go with the orange outfit.

My Rating: 7/10

Window of Opportunity

I doubt there is much I can say about this episode that hasn’t been said before. Just about everyone considers it a favorite, so let’s make this an interactive post. List your favorite moment in the comment section.

If you don’t participate, Jack will lose it. “It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a happy meal, WACKO.”

My Rating: 10/10

Divide and Conquer

Wow, there was a lot in this episode. Of course, my favorite part was when Sam and Jack admitted their feelings. Perhaps more importantly, Martouf was killed, and Sam was the one who pulled the trigger.

After a member of SG-14 attempted to assassinate the leader of the Tok’ra and committed suicide, all the SG teams were tested to determine if their minds had been manipulated. In the first round of testing, it was determined that Lieutenant Astor was a za’tarc. She had been programmed to carry out a mission for the Goa’uld and would likely attempt to disrupt a treaty-signing ceremony that involved the President and the Tok’ra High Councilor.

Anise tried a procedure to save the young lieutenant, but it didn’t work. A failsafe mechanism was triggered. After a brief struggle, Lieutenant Astor shot herself in the head. That always stuck me as one of the sadder moments from Stargate. Poor kid.

As the testing continued, Sam and Jack were identified as za’tarcs. We later discovered the results were false positives, because they didn’t admit their feelings for each other in the first test. “I didn’t leave, because I’d have rather died myself than lose Carter… Because I care about her a lot more than I’m supposed to.”

They were not threats, but Martouf was. When the President’s arrival was announced, he lost control and started firing a small weapon. He was shot several times with handguns and once with a zatgun. He failed his programmed mission and was about to kill himself. Martouf pleaded to Sam, so she fired the fatal shot.

This was the last time we saw Anise. It’s a shame the producers tried to make her such a sex kitten, because she could have been an interesting character. If they toned her down just a little (maybe dress her in something other than formfitting rubber), I think she would have been a good addition to the show.

There was also a great scene between Daniel and Jack. Anise’s host, Freya, had just thrown herself at Jack. He was a little confused by her forwardness and told Daniel about the incident. “Apparently the snake likes you.” And I loved the double “What?” at the end. Classic.

My Rating: 9/10

Small Victories

“I don’t know, Carter, you may not be dumb enough.”

How much did I like this episode? So much that I can forgive the producers for that blonde thing growing on Teal’c’s chin.

The surviving Replicator we saw at the end of “Nemesis” boarded a Russian submarine and killed the crew. Fearing an international incident, the US government picked up the abandoned sub and towed it to a harbor. Despite Jack’s advice, the military wanted to study the bugs and ordered a reconnaissance mission. The mission did not go well.

In the meantime, Thor arrived at the SGC looking for a few dumb ideas. An Asgard homeworld was about to be invaded by Replicators, and they hoped human strategy and ingenuity might be able to overcome their technological limitations. Sam was sent on the field trip.

Daniel spent most of this episode watching monitors, but he also realized the Replicators on the submarine were made out of steel. Which meant they would short circuit and corrode in the seawater. If the lone Replicator that survived the crash could be destroyed, the rest of the bugs could be eliminated with a torpedo.

Jack and Teal’c volunteered for the new mission. They managed to kill the motherbug, but the other Replicators were not happy. Trapped on the ship with no escape, Jack ordered the destruction of the sub while they was on board. The torpedoes were launched.

After learning that Thor likes the yellow ones, Sam devised a plan to save the Asgard. She convinced Thor to send his newest ship, the O’Neill, into hyperspeed and allow the Replicator controlled ships to chase it. Much to Jack’s dismay, the O’Neill was set to self-destruct. The explosion was large enough to destroy the Replicators, because they lowered their shield to follow it.

Back on Earth, Thor beamed Jack and Teal’c out of the submarine just before it went kaboom. The bugs were squashed in both galaxies, but it was just a small victory against an imposing foe. The Replicators will be back.

A couple more things:

• I liked Sam’s new haircut, but there were moments when she looked a little frumpy. However, she looks cute even when she’s frumpy.
  
• I can’t believe Sam rejected Jack’s fishing trip offer again. The thought of Thor fishing is pretty amusing, though.
  
• “They had asses?”
  

My Rating: 10/10 

Nemesis

Daniel had an appendectomy, so the rest of SG-1 was put on leave. However, Jack’s fishing trip was canceled after he was transported to Thor’s ship, which was orbiting Earth. The Beliskner was infested with mechanical, bug-like creatures, and Thor was in critical condition.

Ladies and gentleman, meet the Replicators. Aren’t they pretty? The Replicators plagued the Asgard galaxy for years and now planned to take over Earth. The only way to prevent their invasion would be to blow up the ship. Oh, and Thor didn’t think there was a way off the ship.

Sam and Teal’c ignored Jack’s order and beamed up with a load of explosives. Apparently, they didn’t want to miss the action. It’s a good thing they showed up, because Thor quickly shot down Jack’s plan.

Sam read the instruction manual, and Teal’c took a space walk. “One small step for Jaffa.” The team eventually destroyed the ship as it entered Earth’s atmosphere, and they were able to escape through the stargate.

Everything appeared to go as planned until a lone replicator was shown crawling on the wreckage in the ocean. Uh oh, “To Be Continued.”

I can’t believe Sam turned down Jack’s offer.

My Rating: 9/10 

Crystal Skull

I still haven’t seen the new Indiana Jones movie. From what I’ve heard, it was just a big-budget version of this episode. I’m guessing Harrison Ford played the grandpa role.

While I liked this episode, it was silly that none of these plotlines were ever continued. The giant mist aliens were enemies of the Goa’uld and seemed to be pretty advanced. You’d think they’d pop up somewhere else. Hell, the team didn’t even give Nick a GDO to get back to the base.

The best parts of the show happened while Daniel was out of phase. I bet it’d be fun to walk around like that for a while. The conversation between Sam and Jack was great. Do they miss Daniel? Nah, it’s probably just radiation sickness.

Poor Rothman. He’s the Rodney Dangerfield of the SGC.

My Rating: 6/10  

A Hundred Days

This was another great episode from Season Three. The meteor shower was gorgeous, and the tone of the show was just right. It was interesting to see how Jack adapted to his new life and watch the team as they never gave up their rescue attempt. 

As a fan of Sam and Jack’s relationship, I was a little torn about Laira. Jack seemed genuinely happy with her, and she was a fantastic character. However, as a happily single guy, whenever a woman gives an I-want-your-baby speech, I instinctually start looking for the nearest exit.

On the other side of the Sam/Jack equation, we saw Sam’s feelings for the first time. She seemed to have trouble admitting to her emotions. However, her reaction when Jack said goodbye to Laira said it all. Sam needs some loving.

The episode ended with an unresolved question. Laira seemed to signal that she was preggers. Was she carrying Jack’s baby or was it just wishful thinking? I guess we’ll never know.

My Rating: 7/10 

Point of View

This was another alternate reality episode. In the new reality, Kawalsky was still alive, Jack was dead, and Sam was a civilian widow. Apophis had just conquered the world, so their Kawalsky and Sam used the quantum mirror from “There But For the Grace of God” to visit our team. Got it?

I always feel obligated to discuss hair while reviewing alternate reality episodes. Alternate Sam had a cheap wig, which further proved that helmet hair Carter is the best. Teal’c had a pointy soul patch. I actually said, “Dear God” when I first saw that hideous goatee Apophis was sporting. Yuck. 

The highlights of this episode, in my opinion, all dealt with Sam and Jack’s alternate reality marriage. You could tell alternate Sam was a more in touch with her emotions. She was kissing everyone on the cheek, and she finally got a proper hug.

I wanted to kick our Sam in the butt when she gave Jack a sarcastic answer and walked away after he offered to listen her. Grr… Come on! I wonder what was going through her mind when she watched Jack kiss alternate Sam.

A couple of random notes:

• I love it when two Sams speak techno babble and argue with each other.
  
• I loved the glance between Daniel and Jack after Teal’c killed his alternate.
  
• I have included the wedding photo so all the shippers can squeeeee.
  

My Rating: 9/10

Into the Fire

Noooooooooooooo… My Beloved, Sweet Hathor, you will be missed.

Wow, there was a lot of action in this episode. There were a number of exciting shootouts between Hathor’s guards and a group of SG teams. Hathor palm blasted a Tok’ra spy who saved Jack after a Goa’uld borrowed into the back of his neck. General Hammond even got involved by leading Teal’c, Bra’tac, and a group of rebel Jaffa on a rescue mission. Yeehaa, indeed.

It’s a shame they had to kill poor Hathor. Jack dumped her into a cryogenic tank just before she could torture Sam to death. Oh, but what about the hug between Sam and Jack? Kind of cute.

I thought it was funny how Jack was running around in that white suit pretending to be a Goa’uld. “You heard me, Kree!” He oddly reminded me of Wayne Coyne from the Flaming Lips in that outfit.

I was not very fond of Daniel’s haircut. Clearly, work needed to be done in that department. It’s probably a good thing that he ended the shag look, but that particular haircut was not the answer.

This episode would have gotten a perfect score if Hathor survived. Sigh.

My Rating: 9/10

Out of Mind

This was the Season Two Finale. I was a little disappointed the first half of the show was mostly clips from earlier episodes, but the ending made up for it. Having Hathor show up made for a great cliffhanger. Plus she’s really cute, even with the new wig. 

I had no idea what was going on at first and really enjoyed the suspense that slowly built up as the team started to unravel Hathor’s scheme. She seemed much smarter and more calculating than any of the other Goa’uld we’ve met so far. If it weren’t for Jack’s natural paranoia, her plan probably would have worked. 

The dreaded “To Be Continued” popped up just after Hathor threatened to put a snake in someone’s head. So it’s on to Season Three to see how the team will get of this jam.

One last note: I’m pretty sure Jack was trying to sneak a peek on Carter. I can’t say I blame him. 

My Rating: 8/10

Spirits

It was neat to see Sam in charge of the team. I liked the little acknowledgement Jack gave her from his hospital bed, and she looked extra cute in this episode. I know it sounds cheesy, but I was proud of her. 

Sam led Daniel and Teal’c on a mission to find SG-11, who went missing while mining a metal called trinium off world. After getting shot with darts, SG-1 woke up and met the natives. One of the locals, Tonane, offered to take the team to meet the spirits. 

The team later discovered the spirits were actually aliens with weird gills on their faces. Daniel was the peacemaker and talked them out of blowing up the SGC. In the end, everyone decided to be friends. 

A few years ago, I saw a great movie called Smoke Signals. Tonane reminded me of Thomas from that film. I think it was the smile. If you can’t find anything to rent during your next trip to Blockbuster, check it out. 

I thought this was a neat episode. However, it was a little heavy-handed at times, and General Hammond seemed out of character when he talked about the secret mining operation. It would have been more believable if a stooge from the Pentagon played the Andrew Jackson role. 

My Rating: 6/10 

There But For the Grace of God

As a general rule, I don’t like alternate reality episodes. This is one of the exceptions. 

Daniel started the show by futzing around with an alien device. In the process, he unknowingly transported himself to a reality in which Earth was being destroyed by a Goa’uld attack fleet. Everything was slightly different, and he was never part of the stargate program. 

Of course, the audience would never believe they were watching an alternate reality unless some of the characters had different haircuts. Sam looked pretty good with long hair, but I’m still a fan of her helmet head. The dead thing on Teal’c was not as flattering. 

Fans of a Sam and Jack relationship got a special treat, because those two were engaged in this reality. If you listen closely, there was even a mumbled, “I love you.” Aww… 

The team in the alternate reality was killed off, but their last act was to help Daniel escape. He transported back to his old dimension with a gate address that just might save Earth. 

My Rating: 7/10

Solitudes

This was a fairly simple but totally enthralling episode. Everything revolved around the interaction between Sam and Jack. They were freezing, desperate, and genuinely emotional. While doing little more than huddling together in a dark cave, they built up a tremendous sense of drama. 

The big plot twist revealed they were stuck in Antarctica, which will eventually lead to even greater storylines in later seasons. Along the way, we saw Teal’c and Daniel’s tireless commitment to the rescue effort. And as an added bonus, there was a good deal of Sergeant Siler and the still nameless technician (aka: the chevron guy) in this episode. 

Of course, there were a couple of truly funny moments mixed into the show. Jack’s “It’s my sidearm, I swear,” and Daniel’s misplaced rhetorical question to Teal’c both broke the tension and gave the audience a sense of hope. 

I think everyone has seen this before, but here's the prank they pulled while filming this episode. 

My Rating: 9/10

The Broca Divide

This episode has two claims to fame. Dr. Fraiser made her first appearance on the show, and we saw Sam and Jack’s first kiss. The smooching would have been more romantic if Sam wasn’t under the influence of a virus that turned her into a sexually aggressive Neanderthal. But maybe I’m just old fashioned.

The virus originally plagued the Land of Light, but eventually infected the SGC. Luckily, Dr. Fraiser saved both worlds from unibrows and hairy knuckles when she discovered Benadryl was the secret to rapid evolution. Now she just has to find a drug that will prevent grown men from wearing bare-midriff outfits and the Land of Light will be problem free.

I loved the dining scene with Daniel and his cavewoman girlfriend. The both looked so happy with their comically large bones. Jack had to chime in, “Daniel, you dog, you keep this up, you'll have a girl on every planet.”

My Rating: 6/10