Enemies

The team was facing some bleak prospects when Season Five started. They were stranded far from home, and Apophis was about to turn them into space debris. He was powering his weapons when another ship appeared and attacked. This allowed the team to take temporary refuge within a star’s corona sphere.

When the team reentered open space, they quickly discovered that Replicators had infested Apophis’s ship. The team was able to recover a set of hyperdrive crystals from the abandoned vessel. They got into a shootout with the mechanical bugs and fled just moments before the ship self-destructed.

I really liked the “We’re not going to make it” dialogue in this episode. The relationship between Sam and Jacob has grown fantastically over time. They have such a natural fit. Plus, it’s a hoot whenever Jack interacts with the Tok’ra.

We learned that Teal’c had been revived by Apophis and was brainwashed. He tricked the team and led an invasion that allowed Apophis to take control of their ship. Of course, Apophis always travels with too much luggage. (He’s such a diva.) A Replicator stowaway quickly began eating its way through the ship.

The Replicators created a huge bug that zipped everyone back to the Milky Way. Fearing the Replicators would take over the galaxy, the team devised a plan. They crashed the ship after it left hyperspace and escaped with Teal’c in a cargo ship. Teal’c was still convinced that Apophis was his god.

The Replicators and Apophis were destroyed. Or were they? Okay, this actually was the end of old snake boy. As much as I loved his outlandish arrogance and incredible resilience, it was time to turn the page. He was a great villain. Hey, there are always alternate realities.

My Rating: 9/10

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You might have noticed that I have been a huge slacker lately. There are two reasons for this. 1) I have been sick and didn’t have the energy to write. 2) I was starting to lose my motivation. I even considered quitting the project. Then I watched Continuum. Oh My God! I couldn’t believe how great that was. It completely reignited my love for the show. So, I’m going to jump back on the proverbial horse. I have about a month of free time before grad school starts up, so expect the updates to come fast and furious. 

Exodus

Yes, this was good episode. We got to see the team playing with their fancy, new spaceship, and the battles were pretty. However, some parts of this show drove me crazy.

The first thing that bugged me was how Tanith escaped. How can the Tok’ra be that dumb? He did a ridiculous, seizure-esque freak out, and they believed it. Then, with two guards watching (one pointing a zatgun at him), he grabbed the person who went in to check on him. The scene cuts, and we are forced to imagine that he beat up the other guards, eluded the rest of the Tok’ra on the base, and used the ring transporters to reach the surface. No way am I buying that.

The other thing that made me grumble was how Tanith was able to communicate directly with Apophis. If he could do that, why didn’t he just tell Apophis where the Tok’ra were hiding a while ago? Was he just waiting for a special occasion?

Don’t even get me started about Teal’c.

Okay, now that I got that out of the way. The cliffhanger was great. Sam and Jacob did a little father/daughter bonding exercise by blowing up a star together. The team was sent 200 million light years away, and Apophis ended up right behind them. Oh, and Teal’c was captured along the way and was aboard Apophis’s ship. The credits started rolling with the team stranded in space and facing an overpowering ship.

To Be Continued

Rating: 8/10

The Serpent’s Venom

Teal’c had another rough day. He was betrayed by his fellow Jaffa and tortured mercilessly by one of Heru’ur’s minions. I bet that pain stick to the pouch left a sore spot. On the positive side, Teal’c is slowly starting to gain followers to his Jaffa movement.

Apophis was looking good. His face healed slightly since the last time we saw him, and he switched over to a red wardrobe. He even had some scantily clad women stroking his head. That man is a natural pimp.

I thought it was funny how Jack got all uppity when Jacob first brought up the Tok’ra plan. Then he felt left out before Jacob said, “Of course, Colonel O’Neill is always lots of fun to have around.”

Apophis’s mothership looked awesome. It blew Heru’ur to bits with just a few shots. It’s a shame we won’t the bald guy again. I always liked his earrings.

In typical SG-1 fashion, their plan managed to create a bigger problem. Apophis will absorb Heru’ur’s fleet and grow even stronger. Soon he will be able to challenge the System Lords by himself.

My Rating: 9/10

Tangent

First off, I’m sure you noticed the new header. Isn’t it pretty? I deserve none of the credit. Erica had some free time and made it out of the goodness of her heart. How awesome is that?

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“You can’t just slap a US Air Force sticker on the side of a death glider and call it yours.”

This episode reminded me of “Solitudes” a little. Jack and Teal’c were stuck on a death glider, and the rest of the team tried everything possible to save them. Luckily, Jacob Carter was close by on a mission for the Tok’ra.

I thought the strength of this episode came from all the different character interactions. I loved the moments between Sam and Jacob. His little rant and her outraged response felt like a typical argument between a father and a daughter. Teal’c’s speech and Jack’s subtle humor perfectly fit the situation. I also like the desperation of General Hammond and Major Davis.

To me, this episode showed that Earth could rival the Goa’uld one day. They still had a lot to learn, and they were playing with technology they didn’t understand. However, it’s that sense of adventure that makes the show so much fun.

Bonus point for Daniel’s Wizard of Oz reference.

My Rating: 8/10

The Devil You Know

Apophis is amazing. The guy was promoted from assistant hell boy to leader of the most powerful fleet in the galaxy in the course of a few days. I bet his first official action was to change into a gold outfit.

It’s a shame Sokar couldn’t stick around longer. He had a lot of screen presence and was super creepy. Even his Jaffa were cool. I wonder if he was related to the veiny-headed kid from “Show and Tell.”

I thought the torture scenes were well done. The casting department did an unbelievable job picking out the young Sam, and it was neat to learn more about her background. However, Charlie looked much older than the last time we saw him. It was great to see Daniel throw a punch, and Martouf had me convinced when he told Apophis the location of the Tok’ra.

This was also a good episode for silly Jack comments. My favorite line was, “…they gave me something that reminded me of the ‘70’s.”

If I was in charge of the script, I would have been tempted to have Jack say, “Let's get the Hell out of… umm, Hell.” But I’m a sucker for bad puns.

My Rating: 10/10

Jolinar’s Memories

Martouf always shows up with bad news. He arrived at the SGC to inform Sam that Sokar had captured her father. Jacob was sent to hell, and only Jolinar’s memories could save him.

We saw Jolinar’s previous host and Sokar for the first time in this episode. Sokar looked a cross between the guy from Hellraiser and Billy Corgan. Apparently, the devil does not own nail clippers. Jolinar was cute and one tough cookie.

The dreaded “To Be Continued” popped on the screen moments after Apophis killed Bynarr and revealed himself. In the comments from “Serpent’s Song,” Aabye compared Apophis to a bad houseguest. And just like a bad houseguest, he keeps showing up when you think he’s gone. This time, he was wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask.

Was anyone else grossed out by the yellow, gooey stuff leaking from Bynarr’s eye? Yuck.

My Rating: 10/10

Seth

Seth had to be the lamest Goa’uld ever. He spent a few thousand years on Earth, and he only had fifty followers in rural Washington. He was even a bland dresser. 

Despite Seth’s shortcomings, this was a great episode. We learned a little bit about the System Lords and Goa’uld society. Sam and Jacob had a couple of nice moments. The best part, however, was the Jaffa joke. Heh, poor Teal’c. 

Jack was once again in fine form. I loved the way he handled the ATF team and the look on his face when Daniel told him about the eunuchs. “So help me, if I wake up and I’m singing soprano...” 

Oh, and it was cool how Sam used the hand device squish Seth into the ground.

My Rating: 8/10

Show and Tell

A kid with a veiny head came through the stargate to warn the team about invisible space bugs. Naturally, everyone was a little skeptical until Mother blew up a computer monitor. After a quick call to the Tok’ra, Jacob showed up with cool guns that could illuminate the Re’tu and turn them into goop.

The kid was kind of cute and bonded with Jack. He even started calling himself Charlie after Jack’s son. As a result of the genetic manipulation Charlie underwent to become a messenger for the good Re’tu, he had numerous congenital diseases and his body was shutting down.

A group of rebel Re’tu got in the base, because the team was dumb enough to go to their staging area. The terrorist faction planned to destroy the population of Earth in an effort to eliminate all possible Goa’uld hosts. This led to a little shoot out in the SGC.

Did anyone else laugh that unintentionally funny moment? Oh yeah, that looked real.

With the terrorist space bugs neutralized, attention turned to Charlie. He passed out while hugging Jack, and Dr. Fraiser thought there was nothing she could do to help. Then Jacob offered to put a Tok’ra in his head to save his life. The veiny kid would have a chance to grow up.

My Rating: 8/10

The Tok’ra, Part II

Part two started with a speech from the Tok’ra. One of the reasons they didn’t want to form an alliance with Earth was because nobody on the team volunteered to become Salmak’s host. This gave Sam an idea that might save her father’s life. 

Sam and Jack returned to Earth to pick up Jacob and explain the situation to him. I though it was cute how Jacob said, “Holy Hannah” when he learned about the stargate. It showed how Sam picked up her dorky habits while growing up. 

An evacuation of the Tok’ra planet was already underway when Sam, Jack, and Jacob arrived. A spy had informed the Goa’uld of their location, and a fleet of ships was on the way. Jacob went through a brief interview and ended up with a snake in his head. However, he could not be moved until his body was healed, and the Goa’uld were getting very close. 

He woke up just in time to escape with Sam and Martouf. Once they were back on Earth, Daniel gave the Tok’ra a fancy lunchbox. Was this the start of a new friendship? 

My Rating: 7/10

The Tok’ra, Part I

During a dream, Sam had a vision of Jolinar that included a gate address, so the team set off to meet the Tok’ra. Just before they left, Sam called her dad. Jacob was facing his last days in a battle with cancer. Sam went on the mission knowing Jacob would not want to be seen in a hospital bed. 

Once again, Sam proved that she is terrible with men. A Tok’ra named Martouf used a couple of cheesy lines, and she turned into a big pile of mush. Lord only knows what would have happened if Daniel didn’t interrupt their handholding session. 

I’m probably the only person who thinks like this, but does anyone else see the resemblance between Martouf and Sam the Eagle from The Muppet Show? In my opinion, that’s a more believable Sam and Martouf relationship than the one involving Captain Carter. 

Jack was considerably less friendly with the Tok’ra than Sam. He seemed extra grumpy and argumentative in this episode. In the end, the Tok’ra fulfilled Jack's fears. They decided not to form an alliance with Earth and held the team as “guests” after Hammond sent SG-3 to inform Sam her father was about to die. 

Never trust anything with a snake in its head. To be continued. 

My Rating: 8/10

Secrets

Holy cow, there were a lot of very good plotlines crammed into this episode. Daniel returned to Abydos, a reporter learned about the stargate program, Sam’s dad made his first appearance, Sha’uri was pregnant, and Heru’ur planned to steal the baby. Exhale. 

Teal’c and Daniel discovered Sha’uri had been living on Abydos with a little bun in the oven. Her goa’uld relinquished control of the body to protect the unborn baby, but would revive after the birth. Apophis was the proud papa and planned to use the resulting child as his future host. How creepy is that? 

Heru’ur didn’t like that idea and sent his Jaffa out to find Sha’uri. She gave birth to a little boy while they were searching. Teal’c was in charge of the postnatal care and decided to shoot Sha’uri with a zat gun. Obviously, they have health care issues on Chulak. 

Sam and Jack were in Washington, DC while all that was happening. They were supposed to meet the president during a medal ceremony. General Jacob Carter, Sam’s dad, came to the party with some good news and some bad news. The good news: Sam can quit her boring job and join NASA. The bad news: He had cancer. For the love of God, somebody better give Sam a hug. 

A reporter with leaked information about the stargate program accosted Jack for a comment. Jack played it cool and denied everything with his characteristic charm. After a second meeting with Jack, the reporter died after he either accidentally walked into traffic or was purposely run over by a government goon. 

I’m sorry. I can’t resist a truly bad pun. “That’s one way to kill a story.” 

I’ll get my coat. 

One last note: Apophis was really pushing the limits of Goa’uld fashion in that final scene, but he was totally outclassed by Sha’uri’s headdress. I sort of wish everyone dressed like that in real life.

 My Rating: 9/10