Prodigy

Carter found a mini-me while giving a lecture at the Air Force Academy. Like most mini-mes, Cadet Hailey had a violent streak. She was on the verge of being kicked out of the academy, but Sam thought she could be motivated by a trip to the SGC.

Meanwhile, Jack and Teal’c were babysitting a group of scientists. The mission was pretty boring until the group ran into a pack of killer fireflies. Luckily, Dr. Bill Lee survived his run in with the energy aliens. This was his first appearance on the show. Ladies, contain yourselves.

I thought the scene where Sam and Cadet Hailey debated why the space bugs attacked felt a little forced and awkward. I got it. The kid still had a lot to learn. It was pretty funny to see Teal’c shoot Jack, though. I bet he enjoyed that.

Overall, a forgettable episode.

My Rating: 4/10

The First Ones

I thought this one was a little boring. The translation scenes with the Unas were enough to make me say, “meh.” However, It was neat to see the Goa’uld in their natural environment.

As a guy, am I allowed to say that Daniel’s eyes looked pretty in this episode? Probably not. Maybe that’s why he makes so many friends. I wish my peepers weren’t poop brown.

I didn’t get the stuff about Rothman being a Goa’uld all along. Why didn’t he stay on Earth after he notified the SGC? Surely, he could have created more problems from there. I think the writers just wanted to give Jack a chance to shoot him. Poor guy.

I liked Daniel’s line, “It’s funny. I met my father-in-law like this.”

Rating: 4/10

Bane

Space bugs. Ugh, this could have been awful. Maybourne saved this episode from being a complete disaster, but it was still pretty bad.

SG-1 arrived on a recently deserted planet. The former inhabitants appeared to possess a similar level of technology as Earth, but their absence was unexplainable. Cue the giant space bug. It stung Teal’c and started a process that could create a space bug epidemic. 

When the team returned to Earth, Maybourne was granted custody of Teal’c. Teal’c escaped after his transport van was off the base, and he wandered around the city. He managed to make friends with a young girl who liked to play in abandoned buildings. I’m sure most parents would be pleased by the idea of their child hanging out in a secluded, dark room with a strange man who had an obvious disease. What could possibly happen?

Like I said earlier, Maybourne made this episode. He just brings out the best in people. I love the contemptuous dynamic between Jack and him, but Maybourne is capable of getting under anybody’s skin. It’s like he’s a natural born punching bag. 

“General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man.” 

My Rating: 4/10 

Message In a Bottle

There seemed to be something missing from this episode. The concept was intriguing, but the execution was poor. In the end, it just seemed melodramatic. 

The team brought an artifact to Earth from a dead planet. After the orb suddenly activated, Jack turned into a glowing, blue shish kabob. He would later become a zombie spokesperson for an alien race. 

Like I said, this wasn’t the best episode. However, it gets a bonus point because Teal’c said, “Boobie.” 

My Rating: 4/10

The Gamekeeper

In Soviet Russia, video game plays you!

I don’t have much to say about this episode. It contained a lot of blah and meh. Hey, Kawalsky showed up. That was kind of neat. And Teal’c had hair.

Poor Daniel. His parents were smushed to death by Styrofoam artifacts. I bet he cringes every time he sees packaging peanuts.

My Rating: 4/10

Politics

The opening scenes of this episode were surprisingly good, and Jack was in fine form. Within the first ten minutes, he made a Wizard of Oz reference, called someone Sparky, and got General Hammond to laugh. After that, it was just a clip show. 

Senator Kinsey made the interludes interesting. He was infuriatingly self-righteous and smarmy. Like Colonel Maybourne, he’s one of the villains everyone loves to hate. Sadly, he seemed like he would fit perfectly in the current Senate. 

The show ended after Kinsey decided to stop funding the stargate program. All operations were to be stopped immediately. 

My Rating: 4/10

Emancipation

This is one of the most hated episodes of Stargate SG-1 ever made. Oddly, I don’t think it’s that bad. Yeah, Abu is fairly annoying, and some of the dialogue is downright laughable (“Rancid Yak Butter”), but I thought it had some redeemable elements.

As you probably realized while reading this blog, I like snarky, smartass comments. Jack has plenty of them in this episode. You could almost see him biting his tongue the whole time Sam was in that snazzy, blue dress.

This episode also featured a lot of Angry Sam. I happen to think an angry Sam is a foxy Sam. Her death stare endearingly reminded me of a former lady friend. I would receive that glare several times a week back in the good ol’ days. How could I have finished the ice cream without telling her? 

Ah, the silent treatment. 

My Rating: 4/10